Online Dating Surprises

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Finding herself single after almost 20 years of marriage, Sophie is trying her hand at Online Dating. She’s new and unsure about what is appropriate, what isn’t, and shocked by what she encounters. Follow her and her friends as they navigate life in the 21st Century.

Excerpt from 40 Something. A book about life, family, children, marriage, dating, careers, rivals, sisters, friends, technology, abuse, love, and so much more.


Sophie & Dating

It is so weird to be dating again.

I haven’t dated since the early 90s.

It’s so different now.

Before a guy would pick you up in a bar, coffee shop or at school now, my friends tell me that is not how things work. Charlie says that no matter where you go, men don’t come up and talk to women. Go to a bar and no one says boo. Go to a coffee shop and all you get is coffee. Go to the park and nothing. I’m not sure if Charlie is right, but I haven’t met a man in the real world.

It’s all online now.

This online dating thing is a bit addictive. I spend so much time going through profiles to find the ones I like, I hardly get anything done. I read the guy’s message. I think about what to say. I type mine. Then I wait for his response. You’d think I’d get stuff done while I wait, but no, I don’t. I look at other profiles. I have conversations with other men. It’s kinda cool actually. I mean, I get to chat with guys I’d never dare talk to in the real world.

We spend hours messaging back and forth to each other. It feels like a waste of time because we never make any plans to meet, just message back and forth. Once they get to know me and my situation they aren’t too interested in anything real.

A date for dinner tonight.

It’s my first date.

Charlie was kinda pissed when I told her it was for dinner. She said I should only go for coffee because he might be a bore and I’d want to escape. Lindsay thinks she’s just jealous because I got a dinner date and Charlie doesn’t get asked out for dinner or even coffee.

Charlie is amazing. I wish I was more like her. I don’t understand why she’s single and has so many problems with men.

She is much prettier than me. Her face is very pretty. If she’d exercise and lose a bit of weight she’d be a knock out. Her body has a nice hourglass shape with really big boobs. I’ve got nothing for a chest, I could be a boy I’m so flat. She’s so smart. Has a good job and is so confident about everything. I don’t know why she can’t find a guy.

My phone just whistled to let me know I have a text message.

It’s from Al. He’s the one I’m meeting for dinner tonight.

Al: Hey we still on for tonight?

Me: Yes. I can’t wait.

Al: I’m getting off earlier so we can meet at 6.

Me: Sure.

Al: Great. What are you going to wear? Something sexy?

Me: I don’t know yet.

I have a cute dress that I picked up from a thrift store yesterday after we made the date. It cost me $25. I really shouldn’t have bought it, I shouldn’t be wasting money on dresses and stuff.

Al: I like a woman in a dress.

Me: Oh

Al: And high heels

Me: OK

Al: I love the colour red.

Me: Oh

Al: Are you going to want to kiss me?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe.

Al: Maybe? Ah come on hun. You’ll kiss me.

Me: Maybe. I have to go. I have things to do.

Al: Ok babe. I’ll kiss you lots tonight.

Me: See you tonight.

I don’t know him. I don’t know if I’m going to want to kiss him. But I guess. I mean he is buying me dinner. Maybe I will want to kiss him. I don’t know. I wish he didn’t go on like that. It makes me uncomfortable. What’s one kiss?

I guess I’ll find out tonight. I better get going, I do have a lot to do before tonight.

My phone beeps with a text message. It’s from Al and there is a pic.

Oh my god.

I drop my phone.

What the hell?

The phone whistles with a text again. I’m scared to look. It might be another pic. What if my kids had my phone? I cringe. It whistles again. I pick it up and check the messages from Al.

It’s another pic and message. I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do.

Al: What do you think hun? You like?

Me: Why did you send that?

Al: It’s fun. Send me a couple of you spread open for me.

Me: No. NO. no.

Al: Hun it’s all good. It’s just flirting. We’re adults.

Me: I don’t think so and I’m not sure I want to meet.

Al: I was just testing you. Seeing what kind of gal you are. I like that you won’t.

Me: OK?

Al: You a good girl and I like that. I’ll see you tonight. Can’t wait.

Me: Ok.

I delete the photos of his naked, standing to attention thingy. I can’t believe he sent that to me. I don’t even know the guy and he sends me that. Why the hell did he send me that?

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Who is the story about?

Sophie is one of five central characters.

The Jaded one  – The one who is bitter about men

The Romantic one  – The one who is happily married

The Fun one – The one who parties and loves men

The Tragic one – The one who is hurting and lost

These are the characters I am starting with. I will draw from my life experience and the stories I read, am told, and other share with me to define the characters and their journey through life.

What do you think?  Am I missing someone? Is there a type of relationship or woman that you think I need to explore and add to the group?



Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PM

In her new Chicklit novel, Shannon Peel is exploring what it means to be a 40 something woman in the 21st Century. Each of the 5 women are personalities that we as woman are made up of in various degrees. We are too complex to be just one. 

For more about this novel and her YA Novel, THIRTEEN, go to www.shannonpeel.com 

Online Dating Scam Red Flags

You’ve heard the stories.

You know there are people on online dating sites who are only there to get your money, with no intention of meeting you, dating you, or loving you. I’ve talked with a few, and played the game, to find out what tricks they had up their sleeves.

What are the Red Flags?

Most of the time they have a sob story that their wife died in some horrible accident, or from cancer, leaving him a widower and single dad. It’s always a story that will pull at your heart strings.

One guy told me his wife and son died in a horrible car accident on her way to church. He was a soldier in the US army, stationed in Syria, and his daughter was at boarding school in Canada.

What made me suspicious?

He was not in my area. He was in Syria, a war zone, and a US soldier. I realize that the US did send soldiers to train the rebels, however, at the time of this conversation, it was not public knowledge.

He would Skype with me, but the sound never worked and we were still IMing, though we could ‘see’ each other. He had lots of time to talk to me, too much time, he could spend all day on the computer chatting with me.

The photo he sent me of his daughter was an obvious stock photo and not a pic of his teenaged daughter, whom he hadn’t seen in 2 years. According to him, she lived at a Canadian Boarding School all year round.

I Googled to check and boarding schools in Canada cost over $50 K a year. I’m not positive, but I found it hard to believe that a US soldier made enough to pay for a private boarding school.

What I did to verify my suspicions:

I read a bunch about Syria, the climate, the people, the towns, the news, etc. Then asked him general vague questions, like what did you do today? Or what’s it like in Syria now? Or How’s the weather?

He’d take a long time to answer compared to other parts of our conversation. Then he’d send me a link to a news story, a weather update. He Googled the answer instead of telling me about his own experiences.

At one point, I asked him what time it was and he gave me the wrong time. I’d checked to see what the time difference was, so when he told me 10:00, I knew that he couldn’t be in Syria. He was in Russia.

The nail on his coffin was when he told me that his ‘son’ needed a mother. Remember, he had a teenage daughter and his son had died in a car accident.

How to Identify a Scammer:

Scammers have gotten more sophisticated over time. They now have fake Facebook profiles with few friends, none of whom are connected to each other, and were just opened. They have phone numbers registered to actual places in the US. They have addresses of a place near you. They have businesses with simple websites. They will call you and talk to you on the phone.

So, how can you know if that great guy, who wants to get to know you online, is real or a scammer? I don’t have a fool proof formula, all I can do is offer some points to help you.

  1. Keep a written record of the details he gives you, ie, age, location, kids, job.
  2. Keep all messages to look back and compare to new information he is giving you
  3. Ask vague open ended questions to encourage him to give you details
  4. Ask yourself, does his voice, accent, etc, match the photo
  5. Research the information he gives you. Google has lots of information
  6. Keep a written record of the times he contacts you & what time it would be there
  7. Ask yourself, does the information provided make sense?
  8. Do not give him too many details about your life, keep talking about him

Go with your gut. Don’t take anything he says at face value, always question. For example, you’ve kept a record of the times he contacts you and the times he claims he needs to be working. Considering the time difference, do they make sense?

Keep asking yourself questions, without asking him to explain why the information he is giving you isn’t making sense. Keep a record of everything and compare it. If you see a pattern of lies and things that don’t make sense, save yourself time and block him.

I have talked with a few online dating scammers to get a good idea of how they sound, what they promise, what they say. They have a system and if something sounds too good to be true, chances are they are empty promises designed to get you to trust and open up to them.

When a Scammer asked me for money:

Most times I talk to scammers, I shut them down way before they get to the request for money, one time, I didn’t. This scammer was good, at first, then he started triggering red flags, so I went all in. I pretended to be in love, crazy do anything for him love. Planning a future together, everything.

It took a week for him to ask me for money to get home from Taiwan, $50 000 – he had a shipment in customs and needed the cash to bribe officials to get it out. I told him, I didn’t have that kind of money. He asked for $25 000. I told him, I didn’t have that kind of money. He asked me to get a loan. I told him, I wouldn’t. He told me love is about helping each other out.

Yeah, no.

Bottom Line:

No matter how wonderful he sounds, the minute he asks you for money, it’s a scam. Close your computer and run. Run fast. Block him from everything and look for someone who lives close to you.

If he says he can only turn to you to ask for help, do you really want to be dating a guy with that few real world people who care about him? If he’s that alone in this world, chances are, there is a good reason for it. – RUN!

Talk to your friends, trust what they say, and know that there are men out there, close to you, who are not scammers, willing to love you. I know that sounds hollow and sometimes even I have a hard time believing that, however, what’s better? Being alone or getting taken by a scammer?

40 Something

In my novel series 40 Something, someone is gonna get scammed, I’m just not too sure whom yet. Who do you think would most likely fall for a scammer? Charlie, Lindsay, or Sophie? 

More information:

Online Dating Scams, Forensic Magazine. 

How Online Dating Scammers are Making $$ Infographic

Carol’s Story about an online dating scammer


Read Excerpts of the Series

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Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website.www.shannonpeel.com

Online Dating Profile Humour

I re write my online dating profile based on my mood and my outlook on dating at the time. Sometimes I’m serious about my search for Mr. Right and I write a decent, positive, upbeat profile.

Other times I’m fed up. When I get like this my profile write ups take on a life of their own. Although I still try to inflict my words with personality, humour, and creativity.

The odd time I get it right, most times I’m completely off my rocker. This profile write up is way off my rocker and has some grains of truth. Can you figure out what is true?

 

Humorous Profile

I am a bitter, needy, crazy, drama queen and a game playing princess who is looking for a rich guy to save me from all my bad decisions.

I am currently going through a very drama filled divorce with my controlling abusive jerk of an ex-husband who stole all the money and is demanding I pay him child support even though I have all TEN kids with me all the time.

I am bi polar, depressed, and see dead people everywhere I go. I have a direct line to God and he tells me what to do all the time.

At the moment I’m training to be the fattest woman on the planet because it’s all about the bass.

I am considering a new career in dentistry or maybe as a hair dresser I haven’t decided yet. I am running out of cash so I need to find a job or a rich boyfriend soon. I cant go back to work cause some skank beat me up and took my street corner. So I really need some cash because I am running out of drugs.

I am about to jump off a cliff to my death, so if you want a date, you better ask me out for coffee right away.

You probably should hurry up with that coffee before I google you and start cyber stalking you.

If you are still reading this may I suggest a therapist cause you got issues.

I used to be quite normal, smart, and very sane but then I came on here and the rest is a descent into the hell that is online dating. Just ask my other personalities they’re around here somewhere.

Are Relationships All That? 

you are lovely (1)_Fotor

 

Online Dating

Do you ever get fed up with the whole online dating process? I don’t know about you but I’m tired of being in some online catalogue. I’m not the prettiest girl, nor am I all that fit, well, to be honest, I’m fat. Still, I know that I am a great person with lots to offer a man, I just can’t find one online.

We all make these snap judgements. We don’t take the time to get to know someone. We just look, talk a bit and then decide, no the person doesn’t have what we’re looking for. Notice I said doesn’t ‘have’ as in possess. They may not be successful enough, doesn’t have the right car, doesn’t have the right job, or the right address. These are deal breakers for lots of women.

Men. They usually just look at a woman and if they like what they see it’s a go to at least try to get them into bed. Not sure what things they are needing in a woman to make them want to take a step closer to a relationship.

Do 40 something men even want relationships anymore?

I’ll leave that question alone and let my characters in 40 Something to discover the answer.

Charlie is Bitter when it comes to Dating & Men

Chicklit man hater

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Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com

Date Changes his Mind?

Charlie is a character in the novella series 40 Something about five women trying to figure out what it means to be 40 plus in the 21st Century.  Here are her thoughts about a date who didn’t show.

Charlie

Some call dating a game. Some call it a dance. I call it a complete waste of time.

I don’t know how Lindsay does it, she always has someone asking her out and making plans with her. She has men bending over backwards to get her attention and here I am on a Friday night with nothing to do. I want to know how she does it.

I had a date lined up for yesterday, that moved to today, and guess what? I’m sitting in my apartment drinking wine, alone.

I started chatting with this guy on an online dating site a few months back. Good looking guy, built. A body builder type who looks fabulous in a suit. Mr. Muscles all the way. I compliment him, a lot. I went all out on the compliments to stroke that ego. We flirted and I didn’t mention any of my crappitty-crap-crap. He was flirty, nice, smart, and respectful. He was a gentleman. A decent guy.  I thought we were hitting it off. Thing is, you never can tell with online instant messaging.

His last words to me the were, can we meet this week? I’ll come downtown. I messages back.

Perfect, let me know what works best for you. 

His response, I’ll message you later this week. 

I never heard from him. Not one message. Not one word. Nothing. Weeks pass and I don’t think anymore of it, he obviously changed his mind. OK so, I’m a bit disappointed. It is rejection. Another guy who is kinda into me, but not really. He messages me when he’s bored and there is no one prettier to talk to.

I’m the fall back chick. I really hate that. It hurts to know that I’m good enough to pass the time with online, but not good enough to get excited about meeting. I’m getting used to it. I mean I’m no beauty.

Don’t get me wrong, I like myself. I’m a great person with a lot to offer a man, the list is endless. But this is men we’re talking about here. Men who are looking at an online catalogue with countless options available. Men who are visual creatures and they are searching for the best looking thing they can score. I’m not that on the outside.

Lindsay is. Lindsay is drop dead gorgeous and the men flood her inbox with requests for dinner and movies and fun activities. They don’t ask her if they can give it to her up the, well let’s just say I get a lot of odd requests online.

Then I go and do something stupid.

Three days ago, he puts up a new sexy hot pic and dumb ass me, I message him.

Nice pic, I’m drooling. 

We start chatting again and this time we make actual concrete plans for Thursday at 5:00 for sushi, near his place. He actually asked me out on a real date. A real date. Not a hook up. Not a let’s hang and watch TV. Not a coffee meet. It’s an actual date.

I am so excited.

I want to look hot, really smokin hot, so I make an appointment to get my hair done, I clear my Thursday schedule, I make plans to go shopping for something extra sexy to wear. I make a list of all the things I need to do to look FAB U LOUS.

A dinner date is a big deal to me. Most of the time, guys just want to play with my huge chest so, when it comes time to meet, I ask where and they say:

Let’s meet in my bedroom, car or hotel room. 

That’s when I disappear.

Mr. Muscles asked me on a real date. Three days ago.

He asked me to go out for sushi. I’m over the moon. I’m nervous as hell because I know I’m overweight, I know I’m in my 40s, I know I’m not all that on the outside. A few times I think I should message him and tell him that I’m not thin. That I’m overweight. That it’s OK if he doesn’t want to meet me because I’m fat. I don’t. I stay strong. I want to meet him. I say nothing.

I don’t message him, I wait for him to message me. I don’t want to come across as needy. I don’t want to push him away. He doesn’t message me and I don’t message him for 3 days. Better to talk over dinner. I always screw it up by messaging some stupid ass remark anyway. Then Thursday morning comes and I need to confirm plans. I need to. I don’t want to be stood up.

I really hate when that happens.

I send him a message:

Are we still on for today?

His Response: Call me

This doesn’t sound promising. I call.

“Hey it’s Charlie.”

“Hi Charlie, how are you?”

“Good. How about you?”

“Busy. My day got really busy and I have a lot of meetings so, I don’t think I can meet at 5.”

I’m disappointed. I try to keep it out of my voice. He’s in finance at some bank downtown, so I get it. These things happen. They do. I’ve had to rebook dates at times because of court and clients. Professionals are busy people. That’s how it goes. I get that. I do. I keep telling myself this.

“Oh OK.” I say.

“We could meet later today.”

“How about this. You call me when you know what time you can meet and if you can’t today, then we’ll meet tomorrow, sound good?”

The way I figure it, a girl has to be flexible if she’s gonna get a date and not be classified as some princess or drama queen. Besides he didn’t cancel he just pushed it out.

“I’ll text you when I know. Thanks Charlie.”

“No problem, see you later.”

I go to get my hair done and buy a new dress. I even splurged for a facial. I get home at about 3 and me being me, I check my work emails and my inbox is full, as usual. I’ll just answer a couple, the most urgent ones.

Work is like a bag of chips, I can’t just stop at one and before I know it a couple of hours have gone by and it’s 5pm.

Sh**.

Panic and stress pull me in two different directions egging me on to get ready.

Hold your horses my brain says.

My horses stop and I think. Hmmm. It’s 5:00. He hasn’t texted me with a new time. He’s obviously too busy and probably too tired to meet up tonight. I take a deep breath and then let it and all the stress out.

No use getting ready if he can’t make it.

Just wait.

Wait.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been very good at waiting for a boy to call and an hour passes at a snails pace. This really ticks me off about time, when I am working and want it to slow down, so I can get everything done, it speeds up. Then when I want it to speed up, it slows down. I hate that about time.

I babble when I’m nervous. I babble when I feel like I’m being judged. I babble when I’m stressed. I’m feeling nervous, stressed, and it’s a date so I know I’m going to be judged. Triple whammy.

6:00

Finally, he texts.

Him: Just finishing up 

Me: OK

Him: Going to the Gym 

Me: OK

Now when a guy says we’ll see each other later, then later comes and he texts going to the gym, what is the right response? I could ask what about our date? But that would come off as too needy. I really want to tell him what I think about him going to the gym instead of meeting me, but that would come off as too bitchy.

So, I leave it at OK, cause they’re is always tomorrow. My phone beeps.

Him: Got to focus chat with you later.

Me: OK chat later

I go back to my computer, work some more, go to bed and to work all day. I stay busy. I don’t text him. Texting him is bad, it signals that I’m desperate, waiting beside the phone for him. I’m not pathetic. Well, I am, I just don’t want him to know it.

The day starts, the day goes by, and the day ends. No texts. No date tonight either.

Now what? What am I supposed to do now?

Text him how much of an asshole he is for doing this to me?

Forget him and move on?

Text him and ask why he didn’t want to meet me?

Block him?

I hate dating. I hate the game. I hate the dance. I hate it because I’m always on the loosing end. Five years. Five long fu**ing years and I haven’t met one guy who stuck past 2 dates. Not one.

Why can some women find boyfriends and others can’t?

 

Are Relationships All That?

you are lovely (1)_Fotor

Do you have a bad dating story to share?

 

Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life and embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com

Single in the Darkness

quote depression journey

Meet the characters of my new chicklit series
Read a Story from my new chicklit novella

Single Life

Single life may seem lonely and dark, but if you only focus on that elusive man you’ll miss out on all the great things hiding around you. I’m not talking just about men. Things as wonderful as a new hobby, writing a book, going to all the little towns and tourist attractions in your region. Time with your children.

I am guilty of being too focused on finding Mr. Right. All I found were Mr. Unavailable, Mr. Broken, Mr. Hook up, Mr. Married, Mr. Player, & Master Immature.

I haven’t quit looking. I still have profiles on the various dating sites and check them however, I don’t message and text for days on end because I learned the hard way that it goes no where.

I look back on the last 2 years of train wreck dating and see a lot of research for my next book, a few friends, and a lot of heartache because I wanted what was in the light so bad that I missed what was hiding in the shadows.

Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PM

In her new Chicklit novel, Shannon Peel is exploring what it means to be a 40 something woman in the 21st Century. Each of the 5 women are personalities that we as woman are made up of in various degrees. We are too complex to be just one. 

For more about this novel and her YA Novel, THIRTEEN, go to www.shannonpeel.com 

 

 

 

Stood Up

Sophie is a character in a chicklit novel

I’m sipping on a coffee waiting for my date to arrive. Frank. He’s cute. Well, he is in his photos, tall, and rugged looking. We’ve been chatting online for a couple of weeks, some texts and even a phone call. He sounds nice. Really nice.

I’m kind of nervous to tell you the truth. Butterflies be damned, I have eagles flying around in my stomach making me nauseous. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he walks in, sees me, turns around and walks right out again without even saying hello?

I look at the time on my phone. 1:47. We were supposed to meet at 1:30. A few minutes late doesn’t mean anything, right? I reread our conversations. I like that I can go back and reread conversations like this. It helps. I feel like I can really know him, you know, like some door to his mind has opened up, the one that social filters usually keep tightly shut.

Our text conversation

Him: Wow sexy
Me: Thanks. I think you’re hot
Him: Mmmmm you are making me hard
Me: What? How? I’m not there
Him: Just thinking about you about touching you
Me: So do you want to? Touch me that is
Him: Hell yeah baby
Me: Then why haven’t you asked to meet me?
Him: You want to meet me?
Me: Yes.
Him: When
Me: I’m free tomorrow afternoon
Him: You want to come to my place?
Me: I’d rather meet in public
Him: I thought you wanted me to touch you
Me: I want to meet you first – In public 

We’ve had this same text conversation almost every night for a couple of weeks, until he finally asked me to meet him, here, at this coffee shop at 1:30pm. I look at the time on my phone again. I remember when you needed a watch, now they are unnecessary. I miss wearing a watch, maybe I can buy one. I mean if Craig pays child support I can. But that’s for the kids not me. I better not, but I miss having a watch. At least I have a phone. Craig wouldn’t buy me a phone, didn’t want the payments. And a phone is better than a watch. The phone says 1:53.

He’s over 20 minutes late.

Is that OK? Should I leave? Should I stay? What should I do? Should I call him? Text him? Charlie will know.

“Charlie, it’s Sophie.”

“Hey what’s up?”

“Well, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. Shoot.”

“When a guy is over 20 minutes late for a coffee date does that mean I got stood up?”

“Depends. Traffic, accidents. But baring that, I’d say he forgot.”

“Oh. Should I text him? Call him?”

“Fu** No. He’s the one that’s late, he should be texting or calling you. Call me if he does and let me know what his reason was. Otherwise, sweetie write the loser off and move on to the next. You deserve better than that ass.”

Do I? I am not so sure. I mean he seemed like a really nice guy, we hit it off, I like him and maybe he is just stuck in traffic or in an accident. I get a jolt of fear. What if he’s been in an accident? What if he’s hurt? I should find out.

“But –”

“No buts. Promise me Sophie that you won’t contact him. Contact another guy, any other guy but don’t contact him. If he had a legitimate reason you can talk about it with him when he contacts you. Otherwise, assume he stood you up and find someone else. He’s not worth the effort.”

He is. He is worth the effort. At least I think he is.

I’m here. He isn’t. He didn’t call. Didn’t text. Maybe his phone broke. Or maybe his car broke down. Maybe his phone is dead. Maybe he deleted my number by accident. Or —

“Why don’t you come over and we’ll make everything better with retail therapy.”

I think about getting a watch, briefly. I know I can’t afford it. I mean there is a bit of money in the account, but the kids will probably need something. And what if Craig choses not to pay child support this month? I don’t think I’ve upset him, but I never know with him.

“Uhm. I can’t, sorry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I got to get back to the kids. Isabella is babysitting.”

“OK. Tell Isa that I said hi.”

I hang up. Glancing around the coffee shop one more time, not seeing him. I am embarrassed. It’s crazy I know, but I think everyone in here knows I just got stood up. I glance down at the floor. My eyes burn for a minute. Just a minute though. I can do this and I walk out to my car. Tears streaming down my face.

Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

 

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

 

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PM

Shannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website.www.shannonpeel.com 

Men Suck, I Hate them All.

Charlie is a character in a chicklit novel

Let’s throw out all the bullsh** shall we. No one is guaranteed to find someone to love them in this world. All those positive thinking sayings people say to help you feel better, they are fu**in’ lies.

Dating guru’s I’ve read their positive thinking crap, I even tried it when I started this dating process over 5 years ago. Know what I got? A kick in the ass while the door was still closed, thank you very much. People don’t know jack sh**.  Let’s look at their so called advice, shall we.

He’s out there looking for you too.

You’ll find love when you stop looking for it. Or Don’t give up he’s looking for you too. 

Really? I’m right here. If he was looking for me he’d have found me already. I’m not hiding. In fact I have look at me ads on almost every online dating site. I go to bars. I paid matchmakers, I let people know I’m looking. Trust me, no man is looking for me. Men are looking for the best looking piece of ass they can bang. That’s what guys want. A nice piece of tail. Some chick that’ll make their friends jealous and will look good beside them.

My ass is too big to love. Big enough to screw, but too big to love and sure as hell too big to be seen in public with. They don’t want to take me out and do stuff like go to a movie or dinner with someone like me. I’m not pretty enough or young enough.

Then there’s the whole Love Yourself BullSh**

He can’t love you if you don’t love yourself.

I love myself just fine thank you very much. I rock and am better than any of those Barbie doll princesses they are all bowing down to. Men don’t want to get to know you, they just want to fu** you. Well F** them, if they are too stupid to take the time to figure out how wonderful I am, then it’s there loss, not mine.

Besides, I’m living just fine without him. If he didn’t want me when my life was upside down chaos and I needed him to lean on, then I sure as hell don’t want him now that my life is good and I don’t need anyone.

YOU HEAR THAT, I DON’T NEED A MAN, I DON’T NEED ANYONE.

Be open to the Love in Front of You.

Be vulnerable

Vulnerable? What the F*** kind of advice is that? Yeah lets all wear our hearts on our sleeves so men can grab them and jump all over them before kicking you out.

D0n’t be picky, be open to possibilities

Why the fu** would I want to love just any man who happens to come along and love me? I make 6 figures and am pretty damn awesome in a courtroom. I drive a high end sports car. I go on tropical vacations all the time. I have a great life that lots of losers want. That doesn’t mean they deserve me. They have to earn it. They have to show me that they are worthy of me, not the other way around.

Law of Attraction can eat me

You are what you attract.

Be what you want and it will find you.

Seriously? Are you saying I don’t deserve a great man because some cosmic energy out in the world decided I am unworthy? I’m pretty. I’m smart. I’m independent. I got a lot going for me, thank you very much. I have a lot to offer a man.

I know what I’m worth, They are the Blind Asses

Know what your worth and a man will treat you better.

Yeah right. A guy says he wants to meet, I say, “great where?” He says his place, my place, his car, or his hotel room. Like that’s all I am, some slut. Well I’m not and when I say I’m not and will only meet at a coffee shop, he disappears.

It’s OK, he just wasn’t the one, Move on.

I’m supposed to be OK with men’s behaviour because he’s just looking to get laid and not a relationship. I’m supposed to be OK with all the men in my message box wanting to hook up with me? I’m supposed to be OK with the fact that all I am to men is a set of tits? I’m supposed to be OK with some asshole talking to me like I’m a prostitute? Really?

What the Fu** kind of advice is that? If you know your worth and don’t put up with bad behaviour, you’ll be alone because let’s face it, the single 40 something men out there either want the 30 something tart or just want to bang you. They don’t care how much it hurts a woman to be talked to like that. They don’t give a crap how it eats away at her soul when he just wants to hook up and she isn’t good enough to date or love.

Men only care about themselves. They don’t care how it feels to know that you are only good enough to f***. They lie to get what they want, they just fu** em and fling em because they have needs that need to be met and I am not good enough to love, my needs don’t matter.

Well Fu** that sh**. I’m good enough to love. They don’t deserve me, not the other way around. I am good enough damn it. You can all go screw yourselves for thinking differently and treating me like I don’t deserve love.

Men Suck, I hate them all.

 

Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

 

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PM

Shannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN, a marketing professional, a single mom, and a divorced woman trying to find love in Vancouver, BC Canada. Her daily life is filled with struggle, humour, love, and stories. She encourages you to follow her and come along this journey with her. 

http://www.shannonpeel.com