Finding Start Up Success

I interviewed Shawn Judge of DV Clothiers for a marketing video series and he told me how he started a custom men’s fashion company: He took a huge risk, made a fortuitous connection, and built a start up that makes men in Vancouver look good.

His story started five years ago with a vacation to Thailand, where on a whim, he bought his first custom made suits. He loved how the suits felt compared to his off the rack wardrobe. The compliments he received confirmed that a custom made wardrobe, not only felt better, it looked better.

Shawn decided to start his own brand and become a custom clothier for men, the only problem was, like many start ups, he couldn’t secure traditional financing.

Start-Up Gamble

He tried getting help through start up support government agencies and traditional financing, each time he came up against the same hurdle, he had no fashion experience. With an industry TradeShow in Bangkok coming up, he needed cash to get there and Shawn was not about to let his new dream fizzle out, so, he dug deep and came up with a risky idea – He’d sell custom suits without a supplier, samples, fabric swatches, marketing materials, specs, or any connections to help him get the product made, and, he’d ask people to pay full price – up front.

Shawn went to his friends, co-workers, and business connections and sold them a suit in either grey or blue, without knowing where he’d get the fabric or how they’d be made. In the end, he’d sold 20 suits and 30 shirts. Then, with his integrity on the line, Shawn went to the TradeShow in Bangkok where he discovered, he was in over his head.

A Fortuitous Meeting

Each booth was selling reams of fabric, but none at the smaller quantity he needed as a startup with only 20 suits and 30 shirts to be made. Things were not looking good, until he came across one booth where the guy behind the table was from Surrey, BC, about 20 minutes from Vancouver. After talking about the various places they’d frequented, Shawn was referred to the man’s uncle who could make the suits Shawn needed.

Once the kinks were worked out, Shawn was able to get his orders filled and made the connections he needed for future sales. Now his only problem was getting the suits home, a problem that was easily solved by buying two new suitcases from a store down the street.

Entrepreneur Success

Entrepreneurs take risks to make their dreams come true. They work hard with no guarantee of being paid, making the rent, or affording food. They go into debt, spend their savings, and do whatever it takes to get their dream off the ground. Some, like Shawn, get creative and make it work, others have to shut the doors before they were even opened.

What I love about Shawn’s story is he didn’t give up, he found a creative solution to a problem that stops most people from achieving success. He had integrity with enough people to fund his trip, buy the supplies, source the manufacturing of the product, and have 20 happy clients who referred more clients.

There are lots of reasons why one start up will succeed where another one will fail and the hollow advice being passed around in the form of motivational quotes will not make it any easier. Having connections, support, friends, and intelligent, successful people who can help, will give you a fighting chance.

Shannon Peel is a Professional Marketing strategist and Storyteller. Her company, Shannon Peel Marketing, helps Independent Professionals and Small Businesses define their personal brands and tell their story through different channels. Click to find out more: Shannonpeel.com

The Entrepreneur Vancouver

What I learned at the Entrepreneur Vancouver Event where 24 local successful business people presented on their experiences.

No one could help but be impressed with the environment, mood, and tone of the event, which was top notch making attendees feel like VIPs. Everything from the red carpet, the free headshot, and ice sculpture in the foyer to the greenery, lighting, and multiple stations was well planned out to ensure optimum traffic flow, networking opportunity, and the feel of being at an extra special event.

The seating was casual with couches, outdoor U-shaped seating, comfortable chairs, and even a white hanging wicker chair straight out of the 70s. I spent the last couple hours trying not to fall asleep while lying on the comfortable pillow – I really need to buy myself something like it for my room.

What I learned:

Kelly Deck from Kelly Deck Design reminded me how much time, effort, and tenacity it takes to be successful. Staying kidless as long as possible is important to building a successful business as an entrepreneur. Support from family and the tenacity to keep going even when things happen that cause you to lose more than win for a short term, will bring opportunities in the longterm.

“Shine a bright light and it will attract people.” -Kelly Deck

Matias Marquez from Buyatab‘s story taught me that finding a need in the marketplaceand building a solution can bring you success, no matter how young you are. His business impressed me so much, I passed the name on to my 19 year old son to keep on his radar. I think he could learn a lot from Matias.

Sara Padidar and her partner Katie Reiach of Talk Shop, shared their story about losing passion for the business and how to get it back. The most important lesson they learned was understanding the data and positioning their business based on the numbers to find solutions to make life easier and more profitable. As a data geek, I concur with this advice.

Karri Shuerman’s story is something out of a movie or fictional novel. She’s someone I’d love to sit down with and listen to all her stories about life, love, and her business Chambar. Some people have the most interesting stories and she is one of them.

“If you learn to relax, you will float to the top” – Karri Schuerman

Joseph Tolzmann’s story of an immigrant with no english was a lesson in miscommunication. Communicating with employees, customers, and strategic partners is vital to avoid costly mistakes and keep clients happy. Especially when you own a restoration company.

AJ Woodworth of the Glamoury shared her interesting story of leaving a career in the entertainment industry and finding opportunities by networking with the right people.

Sean Millington is another person who has countless interesting stories to share. His career spans professional sports, film, and business. Once you hit a certain level of success you will find it hard not to be lonely and isolated. Every Entrepreneur struggles with the isolation of the position.

Carla Heim of BDC informed the audience about B corp certified businesses, which use business as a force for good in this world and are well run and transparent.

“Entrepreneurs believe their responsibility is larger than just making money.”

-Carla Heim

Elizabeth Reid of Boughton Law gave the audience some free legal advice when it comes to employment contracts the termination clause is the most vital clause.

Julianne Keu of The Incubator shared her struggle with depression. Many Entrepreneurs suffer from it due to the amount of effort, work, and lack of self care. It isn’t easy to own a business and be responsible for others. It can result in some dark moments in our lives.

Jason Baudreau of Vela Wealth‘s story was filled with inspiration when it comes to finding your passion in life. His top advice was to never stop learning and to bring closure to things in your past so you can move forward into your future.

I totally identified with Julie Kim‘s story about parents who want to push you into a mould that you don’t fit into and caring insecurity into everything because their voices tell you that you aren’t good enough to be in the big leagues. Not to mention the limiting beliefs of others in your industry who give advice that has you second guessing what is appropriate and what is not.

“Struggle is not a Virtue” – Julie Kim

The guys from the Daily Hive were interviewed by Sharad Khate about why they started their digital media company, what they learned, and why they remain loyal to Vancouver. This local to national success story is an example of content inbound marketing success. Their company continues to stay true to their values.

Cybele Negris is the most impressive women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and surprisingly, she struggles with imposter syndrome. This lady, who runs a successful internet business, has won the top 100 Most Influential Women in Canada enough times to get into the hall of fame, the top 40 under 40 a few times, and the top 100 profitable companies awards on more than one occasion, along with a host of other impressive awards, feels like an imposter. The lesson I learned from this – keep showing up, even if you don’t believe you belong in the sandbox.

Rob Madsen of U-lock Storage told his story of being a second generation Entrepreneur in his family business. He believes in helping his employees find their passion and then help them to live that passion, even if it has nothing to do with his business. Sounds like a good place for people to work at.

Almost Perfect

This quality event was almost perfect, it missed the mark by not attracting a diverse enough audience of entrepreneurs. Most everyone I met were employees of the sponsors and not entrepreneurs themselves. The majority were millennials with few mentors in the room.

Will I go back? Yes. I found that I learned enough to get motivated and push through to find opportunities. There were lots of nuggets of advice to help business owners move their business forward. They only need to get the word out, considering it was only their 2nd year and the room was packed… they are doing a good job.

Their website

Shannon Peel is a Professional Marketing Manager and Storyteller. Her company, Shannon Peel Marketing, helps Independent Professionals and Small Businesses define their personal brands and tell their story through different channels. Click to find out more: Shannonpeel.com

Empty Nest Transition

I haven’t posted anything for awhile, mostly because I have been all over the place mentally and emotionally. I didn’t want to come across as a miserable sot of a person whom no one wants to be around, because that is what I’ve been.

If you know me, have been following me on social media, or our paths have crossed, you probably know that life likes to hit me over and over and over again. It likes to keep things interesting for me and remind me when I’m not on the right path. Heaven forbid I get in a rut.

My kids abandoned me and I took it hard.

Losing my kids was my biggest fear, and what I mean by losing them, was that they wouldn’t live with me 24/7. This fear started the day my ex forced me out of the house and grew after he told my son that I didn’t want him living with me. When I finally got my son back under my roof, I constantly feared he would leave again and take his sister.

I wrapped my whole existence in being their mom. I tried to make friends, date, and find work outside the house… I failed miserably at all three and gripped onto my children even tighter.

I wasn’t a traditional mom, I was a single mom. If I’d been a traditional mom they would be more dependent on me for their care and not in such a hurry to take care of themselves.

In our home, we were a team, working together to build a life. Their chores were different based on what they wanted to do, which wasn’t emptying the dishwasher – I’m not sure they even know how this one works. They did the grocery shopping, their own laundry, and cooked their own dinners. I cleaned up after them, was their bank and their taxi service.

My son is 18 and it was natural for him to want to move in with his girlfriend and friends. That was hard enough. I was getting used to him not being a daily fixture in my life when my 15 year old daughter got angry with me for a decision I made and decided to live with her brother. Her brother, not her father, is the protective male figure in her life.

I did not take it well. I cried for days and needed some pharmaceutical help, so I didn’t go crazy… My mother called me daily to make sure I was still breathing, it was a scary time.

I spent days, weeks, months, alone at home – miserable.

One day I was a single mom, the next, I was nothing. I didn’t even have a job, as I’d just been laid off for the second time in three years. I was lost. I had no reason to get up in the morning. I had no reason to do anything and my environment reflected this. A hazmat suit was needed if you were to visit my home.

The main thing that saved me from jumping into the hole of despair was acceptance into a self employment program, which has enabled me to start a marketing management company. I’ve gripped this lifeline everyday to stay sane because it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning.

Some days, I even shower and go out into the world.

I’m getting stronger and finding my own way

My start up business has become my newest child and it is slowly beginning to thrive. It takes all my attention, resources, and love. Just as my children used to. The only thing I know is, it’s my life line and I will build it into something wonderful, as wonderful as my two brilliant, independent, resourceful children.

My kids will succeed in life.

We were a close little family unit and I watched them grow, become young adults, and did my best to be there whenever they needed me – no matter the time of day. I gave them all my resources, efforts, and focus. I made sure they got what they wanted and had as good a life as I could afford to give them, which was financially poorer than the one I had at their age.

I did the best I could with what I had, and it wasn’t much. I was a single parent with no support system and it took three years to get my ex to pay full child support – and a year for my kids to destroy that victory because when they decided to move out, their dad started paying the child support directly to them, leaving me no way to cover the bills of the bigger place I’d rented so we could have a home after my victory. The kids didn’t care, the ex didn’t care, the landlord didn’t care, that I’d lost all my income overnight.

Before you tell me he legally can’t pay the kids the child support directly, I already paid a lawyer to fight to get the child support and I chose not to fight again. Legal battles take more effort and emotional strength than I have. It would also mean upsetting my kids and I can’t do that. The divorce battle is over and I don’t want to open that door again. They moved out because they needed to get away from me and thankfully he pays their rent, so I don’t worry about their financial health.

My son has been accepted to a local University. My daughter is still a good student and will get through Grade 10 with good marks and strong friendships. The two of them are taking care of each other and have each other’s back. I’m very proud of my son for taking care of his little sister and being there for her. He takes care of the women in his life, his girlfriend, sister, and even his mom when he has time.

When your children moved out on their own, how were you affected and did you find a life line?

UPDATE: A year ago, I thought my life was over. Now, I have come to terms with my kids not moving home. I miss them being a daily fixture in my life, the noise, the laughter, and their friends. I miss being apart of their lives.

We do see each other for coffee, lunch, and I’m still their taxi every once in awhile. I love the time they give me.

My business is still kicking and I have some opportunities on the horizon that I am excited about. I network and have found a business partner whom I can rely on, it’s a new feeling knowing someone has my back – finally.

I’m moving downtown, a place I always wanted to live, but couldn’t afford a place big enough for my small family. My kids helped me find the place and move into it.

They want to see me happy and moving towards my own successful life. I look forward to them crashing at their new downtown crash pad, even if it is only one room.

My life is changing for the better every day and that dark time is fading in my memory, as I look out onto the future’s horizon.

I survived the transition.

My story is common.

Many people have lost everything they were scared to lose. Lots of people had to pick up the pieces on their own. The reason I share my story, is to inspire hope in others, because there is light, even when it’s too dark to see. The pain we all carry deep inside us is part of being human. We all make mistakes, what matters is how we handle life and what we learn from it. I chose not to let it beat me.

Both my daughter and my son are doing well. They take good care of each other and have each other’s backs. We’ve talked and they know I have their backs and will be there for them whenever they need me and our relationship has grown into its next stage. The empty nest is quiet and lonely, but at times the silence is golden.

Shannon Peel is a Professional Marketing Manager and Storyteller. She has authored three novels in three different genres. Her company, Shannon Peel Marketing, helps Independent Professionals and Small Businesses define their personal brands and tell their story through different channels. Click to find out more:Shannonpeel.com

A Hiring Company Got it Right

You read a lot about employers making the job search process painful, to the point I’ve given up applying for job postings. Most employers have made this process inhumane and demoralizing for applicant, however, not all companies are cruel.

Today, I want to tell you a story about a company that got it RIGHT!

After I was laid off from my last position for reasons I learned from, I applied for a Digital Marketing position at Pacific Customs Brokers, via Indeed.

The First Interview

Michel, their inhouse HR recruiter, contacted me excited by my application, which made feel good and boosted my confidence. When someone is excited to talk to you, it inspires you to get excited about talking to them.

Michel and I had an interesting conversation over the phone and this lead to scheduling an interview with their president, Greg, within a couple of days. During the first face to face interview, Greg was tough to impress and I was sweating bullets, however, he gave me valuable feedback to help me prepare for the second interview with the company.

I left knowing I’d come up short, but with the opportunity of a second chance to get it right. I have never had this happen before and I doubt I ever will again. Most hiring managers and decision makers make a snap judgement within minutes of meeting you and give you no feedback, let alone a second chance.

The Second Interview

Second interview was with four people and myself. Greg was tough & clear about what they were looking for. Something about this man makes a person very nervous, still he was clear and I felt he was rooting for me to get it right.

I left this interview feeling well done and a bit charred from the grilling and not completely confident in my performance. I went and had a few drinks and gave myself a pep talk. I knew I’d answered a few of the technical questions wrong and hadn’t explained what I meant clear enough. In the end, I let all expectations go and moved on to other opportunities, some of which I am still in the middle of their hiring process.

From beginning to end, it took over six weeks. During this time, Michel would contact me to let me know what was happening and what the next step was. I never felt in the dark or disrespected as just a number, commodity, or faceless applicant.

They finally made their decision, and I was not offered the position, however, this is where Michel did the company proud. He called me, explained that they found someone with Custom Brokerage experience and wished me luck in my job search.

The Result

I came away from the process with a clear understanding that my competition had something I didn’t and it wasn’t personal. The decision was based on experience, not whether I was ‘likable,’ it didn’t feel like a popularity or personality decision. I had a useful fact, which I was able to understand, to help me rationalize not getting the offer.

I felt respected and valued even though I didn’t get the position. If this is how they treat candidates, imagine how well employees must be treated.

This positive experience is rare, at least for me. Most times when a person interviews for a position, they are given no reason why they were not given an offer and after months of silent rejections, this can mess with a person’s confidence and motivation. Add to it the placating comments people make that invalidate what you are feeling, an extended period of time, and some abject failures, it can drive a person to the edge. Some days I swear I stepped off the edge a few miles back.

If managers were open, empathetic, and compassionate enough to communicate honestly with applicants about what they actually are looking for, what they truly want, and why a candidate came up short in regards to their competition, the job process would not be so painful.

At the same time, applicants have to take responsibility for not selling themselves, not communicating clearly, and be realistic about their ability to meet the employers needs.

Will the hiring process ever be transparent, authentic, and humane? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Social Media is a Reflection

This morning social media told me I’m unlovable, not good enough, and not wanted. And it’s only 9:00 AM, give it a few more hours.

Advice and motivation can feel hollow because there is something missing on social media, the deeper story, the complex, the vulnerability, the soul of true connection, and the art of honest listening.

If you are struggling to pay for food and the roof over your head, many posts will tell you that you are not good enough to love, to hire, or even to know. I am cash poor and have no clue how to pay my bills, no one wants to be me, some fear my bad luck will rub off on them, and I can’t blame them. Hell, I don’t want to be me most days.

I could believe the posts that make general statements about who is desirable enough to love, who is rich enough to be happy, and who is successful enough to know. For some this road is a competitive challenge to dig deep and make it to the next level in this game called life. For others, this road leads to depression and despair as they believe their worth is measured by other’s values.

I am not a competitive person and I refuse to value myself based on a reflection of other people’s values.

Social Media is a reflection of the shallows of society. It is filled with incomplete stories, misunderstandings, and insecurities. It is the pavement of good intentions and placating advice. It is messy. It is kind. It is cruel. It is supportive. It is ugly. It is beautiful. Social Media is a reflection of life, not life itself.

Life is more complex. People are deeper than the Mariana Trench. They say things they wouldn’t if they just thought a bit before opening their mouths. They react based on their own issues, hurts, past lessons. They have stories that are so intricately woven they create an image you would weep to see. If we took the time to truly listen to people when they are being their most honest selves, we would find the connection we crave.

Social Media is not connection, it is connections.

We know ads and marketing messages are tailored to take advantage of people’s insecurities and promise to make you prettier, richer, happier. Social Media is a reflection of these messages as we try to portray ourselves in the best light possible using the same techniques as professional advertisers. Seth Godin said it best when he called Marketers liars, we are in a way, we tell the best stories and spin the worst into appearing better. We manipulate stats to fit our stories and we strategically make our topics fit what we believe society wants.

Social media is a study of society and the individual’s driving needs. Take a moment to study your social media profiles, what do they say about your values and goals?

Celebrating Rejection

If you are in your 40s, chances are you’ve been rejected. You’ve experienced disappointment. You’ve felt the pain of not getting what you want. People have disappointed you. You’ve struggled with hope. If in 40 years rejection hasn’t beat the crap out of you, you’re not risking anything, you don’t want anything, and you’ve quit.

In my thirties, I drank the positive thinking kool-aid and why wouldn’t I? People wanted to know me. Employers wanted to hire me. My kids wanted to spend time with me and my husband wanted to build a life with me. It was easy to be an optimist who could see the silver lining in everything and be content.

In my forties, the kool-aid proved to be sugar and food colouring. I lost my job, my husband, some friends, and my children grew up. My life turned upside down and no amount of positive thinking fixed it.

Rejection begets more rejection.

I’ve lost things in my life, which leads to more rejection because people are wired to associate with those who win and society perceives loss as something to reject.

When asked questions about myself I need to focus on the gains and hide the losses, to not tell the whole story, which for a storyteller, is nearly impossible.

Attitude Change

Last year, when I got laid off, the HR person tried to give me hope with meaningless positive saying and quotes. However, I couldn’t handle one more meaningless, inauthentic, I really don’t care,”think positive quote.” My insides were being torn apart by fear and anxiety, I didn’t need to hear about doors, windows, and better things. At that moment, I needed understanding, support, and truth.

No one has a crystal ball. We can’t see into the future. Thinking positive, though important, isn’t enough. We must act. If we do not learn from our experiences, our fears are going to come true and placating someone with hope filled “positive thinking” quotes, with no basis in reality, blinds them to the truth. Better to tell a person about their strengths, rather than some airy, meaningless, quote.

Sometimes we fail and the reasons for the rejection can help identify obstacles to success. However, most times, we aren’t the right person for the job, not the right fit for a lover, not the right personality for a friend and that’s life. Deal with it, see it for what it is, and move on.

What are your favourite positive thinking quotes, share them in the comments section.

Focusing on the positives in your life, remembering the good things about your character, and knowing you are great at what you do, are vital to achieving success after rejection.

Make a list of all the things that make you great. Ask friends to come by and tell you all the things they love about you. When others tell us why we are amazing, we tend to believe it more than when we try to tell ourselves the same messages. You might be surprised by how great you really are when others tell you what they see in you.

Positive messages based in fact and reality are different from delusional positive thinking sayings used to placate a person with hope about an uncertain future.

Life changes, sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
What doesn’t change is you.

I Got Rejected, again

I didn’t move on in the interview process and it hurt. It knocked me on my butt and I wanted to quit, to hide myself away, to drown in the doubt, disappointment, hurt, and fear. Instead, I analyzed what happened and talked to a career counsellor about my interview answers to try and determine where I went wrong.

I needed to find out how I failed to sell myself as the best option.

Knowing I’d messed up, failed, wasn’t perfect, hurt more than the rejection itself because failure due to the mistakes one makes, is worse than being rejected for no reason at all. Yet, knowing an opinion about why I might have failed, is very helpful for the next time.

I need to know why in order to fix it.

Your mind is your greatest tool.

Rejection Tools

The pain of rejection can destroy us. We must face it, deal with it, and learn from it. The following links have tools to help deal with rejection.

Seek Rejection

Everyone gets rejected. Everyone feels disappointment. A successful person embraces rejection and keeps seeking it out.

The only way to go forward in life is to put myself out there. To be open to the pain of rejection and to embrace it as a sign that I’m living. I may never find success, but quitting is not an option.

I keep learning from my failures.

Charlie’s date changes his mind

In her new Chicklit novel, Shannon Peel is exploring what it means to be a 40 something woman in the 21st Century. Each of the 5 women are personalities that we as woman are made up of in various degrees. We are too complex to be just one.

For more about this novel and her YA Novel, THIRTEEN, go to www.shannonpeel.com

Choices, Secrets & Redemption Series

Cover Reveal

When influence over a King and a fortune are at stake men will do anything, even sacrifice the futures of their children. Can one find independence when they are a pawn in a game their fathers play? Find out more at www.shannonpeel.com

Captive

Shannon Peel (2) Shannon Peel (7)

Cleaning the House or Not

Justine is one of the character’s in the novella series, 40 Something. She is a work from home mother of 2 married to a wonderful, loving, perfect man.

Justine’s house

The house is a mess. I’m not exaggerating. There are piles of dirt up against the walls on the floor, food, dust, dirt. The kitchen is piled to the top with dishes and there is no food in the kitchen. I have laundry in various stages piled around me. It’s been weeks since I cleaned.

I look at the piles of crap on the counter, on the desk, in the living room, family room and do you know what, I don’t care. I just don’t.

Instead of cleaning and sorting through the mess I’m working. I write. I create content. I market for my clients to increase the traffic to their websites so they can make money. I am a lead generator. It challenges me. It uses my mind. I have to analyze data. Figure out how people interact with content. I have to engage others on my client’s behalf. This all takes time. Lots and lots of time.

I get lost in the work.

You know how people have junk drawers? Well I have a junk room. When someone is coming over for a visit I’ll run around the house at full speed, completely stressed out, in a panic of epic proportions. I’ll grab everything that’s lying around and throw it into the junk room, then I’ll shut the door. Once that’s done I’ll do a quick superficial clean so the house looks perfect. It’s not. If someone looked close enough they’d see the dust, the dirt, the grim.

My mother looks close and I’ve stopped even trying to get the house perfect for her visits, she is coming over tomorrow and will yell at me. How could I live like this? She’ll go on,

“This is how your aunt Meridith started out, with a house cluttered and messy like yours. Now it’s so bad she has so much stuff piled everywhere there is no room in her house, no one will visit.”

My aunt Meridith is a first class hoarder, I don’t think she’s ever thrown out anything. I don’t know how she got so bad, mom seems to think it’s because she’s just lazy and there is no reason for it. I’m not so sure. There has to be more to why people end up like that. A deep sadness? Loneliness? A hole so deep that only stuff can fill it?

I don’t shop. I work.

No I don’t think I’m a hoarder.

My mom will come tomorrow, muttering about this and that. She will start cleaning and I’ll start feeling guilty because I didn’t get it done. I will feel inadequate because I chose to work instead of clean the house. I will feel like a bad wife, mother, daughter. I will feel like the failure that I am. All because I couldn’t keep the place clean.

How does one keep up a house with a family running it amuck? When I do clean up, two minutes later the kids have gone through and the place is a disaster again. What was the point? Where is the data that shows me I’m doing something right? That I’m getting somewhere? That each brick I put into the plans is building something?

I have two kids. Do you think they can help out? Clean their rooms? Change over the dishwasher? Pick up their toys? Nope. No way. No how. They just add to the mess. When it’s already a mess why bother?

I give them a list of chores. When I raise my head up out of my work I yell at them to get it done. They never do. The place stays a disaster and I somehow just don’t care enough to make them do it. How does one make a preteen and teenager do anything? When they were little I’d say do this, they’d either do it or went on time out. Now what?

Friends and family tell me to take their phones away, their video games, anything. I just don’t care enough to do it. I mean really. Is having a clean house that important that I have to punish them for not doing it? Where is free will?

I go back to working.

My husband, Gary, he does what he can. He either cooks dinner or brings home take out. He helps the kids with their homework and gets them settled while I work. I work all the time. I start first thing in the morning and I don’t look up until it’s time for bed. I work everyday.

I’m not looking forward to my mother’s visit. She’ll lecture me on how I have to have dinner ready for Gary when he gets home and how I need to focus more on keeping a clean house, an organized house, a perfect house. I know that I’m supposed to. I know that. I just can’t seem to care.

I tried cleaning up this morning. I started in the living room and all I could do was think of work. How to get more traffic to the contractor’s website. What should my next blog post be and exactly how could I motivate someone to stop looking and pick up the phone. That when the ideas came to me and I stopped cleaning.

I started working.

You’d think Gary would get mad. He doesn’t. He brings me coffee in the morning. He asks me how my latest campaign is going. He tidies up on the weekends. Once, he offered to hire a cleaning lady. The thought of it loaded me down with so much guilt, I cleaned for a week. The house was perfect and I barely slept, as I still had to work.

After a week, I got tired. So tired I couldn’t get out of bed for two days. I was sick. Not sick as in cough, cough, puke, puke, but sick in a different way. I didn’t care about anything. Not even work. Every muscle on my body ached and my brain was shutting down. I couldn’t hold a thought, I couldn’t string a sentence together without loosing words and going blank. I couldn’t focus. I just couldn’t move.

Two days later, I woke up and went back to work. Sitting on my ass, at my computer, never moving. I should be the size of Rose by now, but I’m not. Thank you mom for a fabulous metabolism. I am completely out of shape, you just can’t tell that from looking at me.

One day I’ll get it together. One day I’ll be able to do everything. Work, keep a clean house, take care of my self and my family. One day. Just not today. I just don’t care enough to.

Rose is a doer, a stay at home mom, wearing herself out

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

Shannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?