Celebrating Rejection

If you are in your 40s, chances are you’ve been rejected. You’ve experienced disappointment. You’ve felt the pain of not getting what you want. People have disappointed you. You’ve struggled with hope. If in 40 years rejection hasn’t beat the crap out of you, you’re not risking anything, you don’t want anything, and you’ve quit.

In my thirties, I drank the positive thinking kool-aid and why wouldn’t I? People wanted to know me. Employers wanted to hire me. My kids wanted to spend time with me and my husband wanted to build a life with me. It was easy to be an optimist who could see the silver lining in everything and be content.

In my forties, the kool-aid proved to be sugar and food colouring. I lost my job, my husband, some friends, and my children grew up.  My life turned upside down and no amount of positive thinking fixed it.

Rejection begets more rejection.

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I’ve lost things in my life, which leads to more rejection because people are wired to associate with those who win and society perceives loss as something to reject. 

When asked questions about myself I need to focus on the gains and hide the losses, to not tell the whole story, which for a storyteller, is nearly impossible.

Attitude Change

Last year, when I got laid off, the HR person tried to give me hope with meaningless positive saying and quotes. However, I couldn’t handle one more meaningless, inauthentic, I really don’t care,”think positive quote.” My insides were being torn apart by fear and anxiety, I didn’t need to hear about doors, windows, and better things. At that moment, I needed understanding, support, and truth.

what-you-seek-is-seeking-you_fotor No one has a crystal ball. We can’t see into the future. Thinking positive, though important, isn’t enough. We must act. If we do not learn from our experiences, our fears are going to come true and placating someone with hope filled “positive thinking” quotes, with no basis in reality, blinds them to the truth. Better to tell a person about their strengths, rather than some airy, meaningless, quote.

Sometimes we fail and the reasons for the rejection can help identify obstacles to success. However, most times, we aren’t the right person for the job, not the right fit for a lover, not the right personality for a friend and that’s life. Deal with it, see it for what it is, and move on.

What are your favourite positive thinking quotes, share them in the comments section. 

Focusing on the positives in your life, remembering the good things about your character, and knowing you are great at what you do, are vital to achieving success after rejection.

Make a list of all the things that make you great. Ask friends to come by and tell you all the things they love about you. When others tell us why we are amazing, we tend to believe it more than when we try to tell ourselves the same messages. You might be surprised by how great you really are when others tell you what they see in you.

Positive messages based in fact and reality are different from delusional positive thinking sayings used to placate a person with hope about an uncertain future.

Life changes, sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
What doesn’t change is you.

I Got Rejected, again

I didn’t move on in the interview process and it hurt. It knocked me on my butt and I wanted to quit, to hide myself away, to drown in the doubt, disappointment, hurt, and fear. Instead, I analyzed what happened and talked to a career counsellor about my interview answers to try and determine where I went wrong.

I needed to find out how I failed to sell myself as the best option.

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Knowing I’d messed up, failed, wasn’t perfect, hurt more than the rejection itself because failure due to the mistakes one makes, is worse than being rejected for no reason at all. Yet, knowing an opinion about why I might have failed, is very helpful for the next time.

I need to know why in order to fix it.

Your mind is your greatest tool.

Rejection Tools


The pain of rejection can destroy us
. We must face it, deal with it, and learn from it. The following links have tools to help deal with rejection. imgres

Seek Rejection

Everyone gets rejected. Everyone feels disappointment. A successful person embraces rejection and keeps seeking it out.

The only way to go forward in life is to put myself out there. To be open to the pain of rejection and to embrace it as a sign that I’m living. I may never find success, but quitting is not an option.

I keep learning from my failures. 

Chicklit man hater

Charlie’s date changes his mind


Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PM

In her new Chicklit novel, Shannon Peel is exploring what it means to be a 40 something woman in the 21st Century. Each of the 5 women are personalities that we as woman are made up of in various degrees. We are too complex to be just one. 

For more about this novel and her YA Novel, THIRTEEN, go to www.shannonpeel.com 

Cleaning the House or Not

Justine is one of the character’s in the novella series, 40 Something. She is a work from home mother of 2 married to a wonderful, loving, perfect man.

Justine’s house

The house is a mess. I’m not exaggerating. There are piles of dirt up against the walls on the floor, food, dust, dirt. The kitchen is piled to the top with dishes and there is no food in the kitchen. I have laundry in various stages piled around me. It’s been weeks since I cleaned.

I look at the piles of crap on the counter, on the desk, in the living room, family room and do you know what, I don’t care. I just don’t.

Instead of cleaning and sorting through the mess I’m working. I write. I create content. I market for my clients to increase the traffic to their websites so they can make money. I am a lead generator. It challenges me. It uses my mind. I have to analyze data. Figure out how people interact with content. I have to engage others on my client’s behalf. This all takes time. Lots and lots of time.

I get lost in the work.

You know how people have junk drawers? Well I have a junk room. When someone is coming over for a visit I’ll run around the house at full speed, completely stressed out, in a panic of epic proportions. I’ll grab everything that’s lying around and throw it into the junk room, then I’ll shut the door. Once that’s done I’ll do a quick superficial clean so the house looks perfect. It’s not. If someone looked close enough they’d see the dust, the dirt, the grim.

My mother looks close and I’ve stopped even trying to get the house perfect for her visits, she is coming over tomorrow and will yell at me. How could I live like this? She’ll go on,

“This is how your aunt Meridith started out, with a house cluttered and messy like yours.  Now it’s so bad she has so much stuff piled everywhere there is no room in her house, no one will visit.”

My aunt Meridith is a first class hoarder, I don’t think she’s ever thrown out anything. I don’t know how she got so bad, mom seems to think it’s because she’s just lazy and there is no reason for it. I’m not so sure. There has to be more to why people end up like that. A deep sadness? Loneliness? A hole so deep that only stuff can fill it?

I don’t shop. I work.

No I don’t think I’m a hoarder.

My mom will come tomorrow, muttering about this and that. She will start cleaning and I’ll start feeling guilty because I didn’t get it done. I will feel inadequate because I chose to work instead of clean the house. I will feel like a bad wife, mother, daughter. I will feel like the failure that I am. All because I couldn’t keep the place clean.

How does one keep up a house with a family running it amuck? When I do clean up, two minutes later the kids have gone through and the place is a disaster again. What was the point? Where is the data that shows me I’m doing something right? That I’m getting somewhere? That each brick I put into the plans is building something?

I have two kids. Do you think they can help out? Clean their rooms? Change over the dishwasher? Pick up their toys? Nope. No way. No how. They just add to the mess. When it’s already a mess why bother?

I give them a list of chores. When I raise my head up out of my work I yell at them to get it done. They never do. The place stays a disaster and I somehow just don’t care enough to make them do it. How does one make a preteen and teenager do anything? When they were little I’d say do this, they’d either do it or went on time out. Now what?

Friends and family tell me to take their phones away, their video games, anything. I just don’t care enough to do it. I mean really. Is having a clean house that important that I have to punish them for not doing it? Where is free will?

I go back to working.

My husband, Gary, he does what he can. He either cooks dinner or brings home take out. He helps the kids with their homework and gets them settled while I work. I work all the time. I start first thing in the morning and I don’t look up until it’s time for bed. I work everyday.

I’m not looking forward to my mother’s visit. She’ll lecture me on how I have to have dinner ready for Gary when he gets home and how I need to focus more on keeping a clean house, an organized house, a perfect house. I know that I’m supposed to. I know that. I just can’t seem to care.

I tried cleaning up this morning. I started in the living room and all I could do was think of work. How to get more traffic to the contractor’s website. What should my next blog post be and exactly how could I motivate someone to stop looking and pick up the phone. That when the ideas came to me and I stopped cleaning.

I started working.

You’d think Gary would get mad. He doesn’t. He brings me coffee in the morning. He asks me how my latest campaign is going. He tidies up on the weekends. Once, he offered to hire a cleaning lady. The thought of it loaded me down with so much guilt, I cleaned for a week. The house was perfect and I barely slept, as I still had to work.

After a week, I got tired. So tired I couldn’t get out of bed for two days. I was sick. Not sick as in cough, cough, puke, puke, but sick in a different way. I didn’t care about anything. Not even work. Every muscle on my body ached and my brain was shutting down. I couldn’t hold a thought, I couldn’t string a sentence together without loosing words and going blank. I couldn’t focus. I just couldn’t move.

Two days later, I woke up and went back to work. Sitting on my ass, at my computer, never moving. I should be the size of Rose by now, but I’m not. Thank you mom for a fabulous metabolism. I am completely out of shape, you just can’t tell that from looking at me.

One day I’ll get it together. One day I’ll be able to do everything. Work, keep a clean house, take care of my self and my family. One day. Just not today. I just don’t care enough to.

Rose is a doer, a stay at home mom, wearing herself out

chicklit novel bedroom sm

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website.www.shannonpeel.com

80s Weekly Trivia

If you are now in your 40s, you were a teenager in the 80s. Let’s see how much of your teenage years you remember.

Follow the blog for more weekly trivia questions. Answers below.

This Week’s Trivia Questions:

What’s the name of this Game? 

A. Donkey Kong
B. Burger Time
C. Pac Man
D. Pong

Burger Time

 

What did John Bender Get for Christmas?

A. A teddy bear
B. Nothing
C. Cigarettes
D. A Kick in the Ass

 

Breakfast Club

Answers are below.

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Answers to Trivia:

B. Burger Time 

The 80s were filled with inventions, some of which changed the way we live and others have come and gone. Video game arcades in the malls were always packed with teenagers and you could find a friend or perhaps a new boyfriend/girlfriend there. Share you favourite arcade experience in the comments section.

C. Cigarettes 

Bad Boy John Bender. Such the rebel and the type of boy mothers warned their daughters about. In Breakfast Club he tells the kids what life in the Bender house was like and it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. The boy with the permanent seat in detention who made a girl want to get sent to the principals office. What was your favourite 80s movie?

 

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com

40 Something Ebook Free Today

March 11th, 2016

The ebook 40 Something – Sunday Dinner,

is free today on Amazon.

Download it and the kindle app today.

chicklit novel twitter

 

More information

on the

ebook & the series

 

Characters.

About

On Being 40 Something

Buy the novella –

Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

 A Story from the Novella, Sunday Dinner.

Date Night with Hubby

chicklit novel bedroom sm

 

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com

 

 

Chicklit Novella Free Download

 

It’s Friday March 4th, 2016 and I’ve just launched my new chicklit novella series, 40 Something.

To get the ball rolling I’m giving the first novella away for free as a kindle download for two days:

  • Friday March 4th, 2016
  • Saturday March 5th 2016

Click to download Sunday Dinner the first instalment of this Chicklit novella series

hungover chicklit novel

What is it about?

Good Question. It’s a series about being a 40 something woman in the 21st Century. Follow 5 women as they navigate their lives as mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, and friends.

It’s Sunday and that means family dinner at Rose’s house.

Rose is a busy mother who believes family time is the most important thing in the world. All she wants is for everything to be like it should be, like its supposed to be, and heaven help you if things go wrong.

To spice things up, Charlie drags her party girl friend Lindsay along to her sister’s for family dinner because she knows that her sister and mother will hate everything about her.

Justine has the perfect husband, the perfect life, and the perfect career. When Lindsay disappears with Justine’s husband, Rose is furious but Justine doesn’t really care, even when Charlie seems concerned enough to drag her along to look for them.

Rose insists Charlie help her new friend Sophie who is trying to survive a recent separation and arranges for them to meet at a girls pub night after dinner. Sophie is enjoying her first night out in over a decade, that is until her ex walks in.

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Who is the Chicklit Novella about?

The novella series focuses on five 40 something woman as they come together to share their challenges, successes and tears. Along the way they will meet other women who are trying their best to navigate life in a fast paced technological and image focused culture.

Rose – Married 22 years with 4 kids who believes things should be a certain way in this world. Heaven forbid you step out of line and act in an immoral and unbiblical way.

Charlie – Rose’s sister, divorced and shares custody of her son with her cheating ex. After a failed marriage, 5 years of dating, and a career as a divorce lawyer she hates men.

Lindsay – Divorced twice over and the last one was quite profitable. She is all about fun and finding the next party, she is beautiful, rich, and struggling to keep a youthful image.

Sophie – Separated, alone and broke. She is trying to survive with her two homeschooled children. It isn’t easy to make ends meet and she doesn’t have work experience.

Justine – Married to the perfect man, with the perfect kids, she has a career she is focused on and the perfect life. She should be happy, so why isn’t she?

Chicklit novel women divorce

A bunch of questions.

The series explores various questions, situations, and relationships.

Was there ever a time when being 40 something was simple? Or is it just the complications of a post feminist world where gender roles are not yet defined for a generation and divorce is an easy option? In this technologically advanced world where life goes at lightening speed and women have been told they can have it all, but someone forget to figure out how, can a woman find herself?

mother-of-teenagers-tiny

Reviewers and Bloggers

If you are a reviewer and / or blogger, book promoter, etc and you think the 40 Something series is a book you’d like to read, email me. shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail[ dot ]com

 

Buy the novella – Sunday Dinner From Amazon.

Purpose of this Blog

This blog is a look at the characters in a new novel about being a 40+ year old woman in today’s world. The novel, like all literature, draws from real life but embellishes it, changes it, and merges it together with fantasy. You won’t find a 100% true story on the blog or in the novel. I welcomes any parenting or dating stories you would like to share for the book, but please understand the story will only be a jump off point as I’m not about to publish anything exactly as it happened. Email her today at Shannonpeel01[ at ]gmail [.com]

And yes…. Dating stories about women behaving badly are welcome too, as my characters are flawed and handicapped when it comes to dating.

Photo on 2014-04-17 at 12.25 PMShannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here?

For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com